JACKSONVILLE, Fla. – I embarked on my news career when I was 23 years old.
At that time, I didn’t even think about “coming out” because I was fully absorbed in the pursuit of perfection and meeting societal expectations. At that time, the idea of revealing my true self never crossed my mind, especially considering the scarcity of openly gay women in the news industry.
It wasn’t until I turned 30 that I finally embraced my identity, and since then, my life has flourished in every aspect. Now nearing 36, I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own skin.
My favorite part of my life is when people talk to me about my experience when they’re struggling, as I did for many years, and I can reassure them that their journey is theirs and theirs alone and they will come full circle. In fact, since coming out on my fan page “Katie Garner” years ago, while working at FOX8 in North Carolina, I still get emails from moms, dads, aunts, daughters, and the girls struggling to come out saying they had no idea I was gay and it’s helping them come to terms with it.
I was a very southern, conservative girl who went to a private Catholic school, grew up in a lovely Presbyterian church, and did everything I thought I was supposed to do, but I knew from a very young age that I was, in fact, a lesbian.
Related: LGBTQ+ Community Resources in Jacksonville, Florida
I grew up in a tight-knit, small, country club town. I was the only debutante in my class. That was the best season, but I was also under high pressure because I knew I was gay, yet I was being presented to a “traditional” society that thought I would meet a great man and start a family. When you’re hiding who you are, you often worry and stress more than you should.
When I did come out, my mother, father, brother, and sister could not have been more supportive. I am so, so blessed that God gave me them to love me. They love me so well, and let me be exactly who I am.
I lost a lot of people, but I gained a lot of “framily” too! All I ever cared about was having my closest circle of friends by my side and my immediate family in my corner. I have all of those things and more, so life did glow up when I chose to live authentically.
I remember a year before I officially came out, I would drive home from work every day and just cry and pray for the courage to come out. I needed to do it. I was tired of keeping such a secret and living an inauthentic life. I’ve always been so different and done things my way, this was just the cherry on top.
And at 30 years old, I finally did it. I remember the weekend it happened, I was at a winery with my best friends, and I texted my parents. Yes, texted them!
I said I have something to tell you, and you may not love me anymore after I tell you. My mom sent me a list of 10 things... No. 1 being, “Did you commit a crime?” and finally I texted back, ”No, but I am a lesbian.”
It wasn’t 2 minutes later she said, “Well, that’s fine! You had me scared!”
My mom and dad took a minute, processed it, and told me how loved I was and am. They said there was nothing I could ever do to make them love me any less! They adore me, and I love them so much.
They never miss an opportunity to show me I’m supported. They know how important God and my faith are in my life, and that my being a lesbian didn’t change that in the least.
You see, it’s less about coming out, but about letting your people in and living authentically as exactly who God created you to be. Living authentically was the hardest, but best decision I’ve made in my life. It gave me a happy life with so much love from my people! If you’re scared, it just all gets so much better. I promise you, it will be OK.
To my unique and extraordinary lesbians out there, wherever you are in your journey -- whether you’re coming out, freely out, or scared or unable to come out, I see you. I am with you.
Choose you. Choose to live the authentic life you are very capable of (but please remember that safety remains a priority in all situations). Put all the good out into the world, this world needs YOU.
To live a full life, full of your unique visions and to be forever passionate and authentic is a gift you deserve to give yourself every day. To all of the lesbians like me who are free spirits -- unique, fervent, wild & free, you are loved, beautiful, perfectly made, and worth it all!
This is Lesbian Visibility Week. It’s such an important week, and if you’re still in your coming out journey, unsure of what that looks like, know that everybody’s story is so very different, but if you ever need to talk, need a safe space, or need a prayer, I’ve got you!
Coming out isn’t possible for everyone, for so many reasons like safety, rejection from loved ones, keeping your job and much more, so during this Lesbian Visibility Week, I want to remind you that you’re never alone.
I’ll be a safe space for anyone who needs one. That includes you.