KINGSLAND, Ga. – An investigation into explicit text messages and allegations of sexual abuse around the time when students are starting a new school year is highlighting a reason why parents are being asked to monitor their children’s online activity.
Richard Gilley, 57, of Kingsland was ordered held without bond following a recent arrest on multiple charges of child molestation and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
The criminal investigation into Gilley began last week when according to detectives, the parent of a young girl attempted to use her daughter’s tablet and accidentally discovered explicit messages from Gilley.
Detectives said the discovery of the text messages led to information about the number of times and locations where the girl was sexually abused.
News4JAX has made an editorial decision to omit certain details in the case that are public record to protect the identity of the young victim.
A Camden County Sheriff’s Office spokesperson has confirmed to News4JAX that Gilley has admitted to detectives that he was infatuated with the girl.
According to the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN), every year, an estimated 60,000 kids in the U.S. are sexually abused. Data collected by RAINN also revealed that 34% of the kids who are sexual assault victims are also under the age of 12 and 66% of the victims are between the ages of 12 and 17.
RAINN’s deeper dive into child sexual abuse and assault data revealed that every 9 minutes in the U.S., child protection services find enough evidence to validate an accusation or claim of child sexual abuse.
The ongoing investigation into allegations of sexual abuse by Gilley is happening while children are starting a new school season.
News4JAX Crime and Safety Analyst Tom Hackney said the timing of this investigation coinciding with the start of a new school year is the perfect time for parents to have a deep conversation with their kids.
“I always like the beginning of the school year because it’s a great opportunity to wipe a slate clean and set expectations, especially as kids move from elementary to middle school and from middle to high school,” Hackney said. “Always have those refreshing conversations. Say to them, we’ve talked about this before but you’re getting a little older and I want to go back over these things to make sure you are aware that I’m going to be looking through your phone. You are not going to have any passwords. You won’t have things that I won’t know about. I want to know who you are talking to. I want to know your friends. I want to know where you are.”
The question then becomes how often parents should be monitoring their kid’s online activities or text messages. Should monitoring frequency be based on the child’s age? Is it OK to be a “helicopter parent”? How much should a parent trust their child to make the right decisions when it comes to the child having a cellphone?
“You get what you inspect and not what you expect,” Hackney said. “Maybe you inspect their phone twice a week. Maybe you do it three times a week. I think unexpected checks are the more important things because if a kid knows every night at a specific time, they have to turn their phone over to their parents for inspection; kids are smart and tech-savvy and they know how to prevent you from seeing something that should not be on their phone.”
Hackney also suggested that parents immediately ask their child to hand over the phone for inspection when they pick them up from school.
Cellphones and tablets are capable of containing many different files within files. Hackney said kids can be so tech-savvy these days that they know how to hide things from their parents.
It’s why he said parents have to do a better job of becoming just as savvy as their kids.
“There’s a lot of resources out there for parents to at least become familiar with the good places inside a phone to look,” Hackney said. “Search history, internet history, it may not be sitting right out there in front of you. Hidden folder in image files, there’s a lot that can be stashed away if kids don’t; want their parents to see it, so, parents have to be smarter than their kids when it comes to sleuthing out what’s there.”
The Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office recently published acronyms on social media that every parent should know to help prevent their child from being sexually exploited online. The acronyms include:
- ASL - Age, Sex, Location
- CD9 - Parents aren’t around
- GNGR - Get naked right now
- GNOC - Get naked on camera
- LMIRL – Let’s meet in real life
- NP4NP – Naked picture for naked picture
- TDTM – Talk dirty to me
When it comes to parents keeping tabs on their child’s online or cellphone activities, Hackney said every parent should keep one thing in mind that they should never forget.
“It’s not just protecting your kids against other people. Sometimes you’re protecting them against themselves because kids can sometimes do things that don’t coincide with the interests of their safety,” Hackney said.
Another question concerning child sexual abuse is who are the perpetrators?
According to data from RAINN:
- 7% of the offenders turn out to be strangers.
- 59% of offenders are people who are known to the victim’s family such as a family friend.
- 34% of the offenders are relatives of the victim.
“From my 30 years of law enforcement experience, we always warned kids about the stranger in the white van,” Hackney said. “Yes, there is a threat, but a lot of times, it’s easy to forget that the threat from the stranger in the white van is maybe not as frequent as someone your kids have contact with. Between family members, church members, and even school officials; you hate that we live in a society in which that has to be said, but it’s reality. Those are conversations that need to happen between parents and their kids.”
If you or someone you know is a victim of sexual abuse, help is just a phone call away. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1-800-656-4763. You can also call your local law enforcement agency to file a report.