Food, health, money, jobs, and bills, taking care of your children is already challenging, but when mom and dad come into the picture, welcome to your sandwich era!
More than 11 million Americans are taking care of their children and aging parents at the same time.
The sandwich generation is adults, often in their 40s and 50s, who are caring for both elderly parents and their own children.
“Squeezing us into being overwhelmed by tasks and responsibilities,” said Colette J. Fehr, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor.
How can you manage it?
“Lay the groundwork for good boundaries. Because even though you want to be there for your parents, you can’t be completely responsible for everyone,” explained Fehr.
Honestly assess the needs of both your parents and your children. What are the non-negotiables and where can you delegate?
“One of the biggest problems is that someone in the family is often the martyr. They don’t even think to say to somebody else, ‘Hey, could you pitch in and take mom to the hospital next week?‘” said Fehr.
Organization is key.
First, create a master calendar that everyone has access to. The app Cozi Family Organizer is a good place to start. Be sure to include meal planning. That way, you can delegate to friends and family.
Don’t be afraid to outsource if you can hire cleaning, cooking, extra child and senior care.
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And to keep track of medications and doctors’ visits, MedCoach can keep you up to date.
Also, plan your finances! Caregivers typically spend $10,000 a year on expenses. The app HomeBudget gives everyone the independence to spend but allows the caregiver to track the money coming in and money going out.
And remember to take a break. An AARP study found that 50% of caregivers in the U.S. experience increased emotional stress.
Fehr also says to let the things go that can go and really ask “Is this absolutely essential that I do this?” and if not, scratch it off the list or move it to the next month.